Friday, January 27, 2006

Fishing is Life

I've been in a little bit of a funk lately. Yes Diane Sawyer had a little to do with it but I think there is a deeper reason. It has taken me a little while to figure out but I've fianlly got my finger on it. Fishing, I miss fishing. It has been a little too cold to go out in the kayak, so I have been cooped up in the house getting all of my gear ready for the first nice warm day. Sure there have been some warm days, but they all seem to fall during the week. When Staurday and Sunday come around its too cool and windy. The fishing I miss the most is trout fishing. I miss being on a high mountain stream in New Mexico casting to those beautiful sparkling fish. The cast the drift the swirl the fish on the fly, tight line. John Gierach once wrote, "After all the one place you almost always want to be is on a trout stream with a fly rod. Once you're actually there, it seems unreasonable to impose further conditions."
What more can be said?

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Screw you Diane Sawyer

So I woke up the other morning to that sick smiling face of Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America, and I hear her say through the foggy haze of sleep, that January 24 is the most depressing day of the year. Screw you! Thats my birthday! How dare she say something like that on National TV! It set the tone for the rest of the day. It was one disaster after another. An interview went poorly, I fought with my wife, I got shitty news from a friend, and I turned one year older. This just goes to show the complete irresponsibility of the media today.

Is it sensational? Is it complete and utter schlock? Is it trashy gossip about some beautiful movie star? Then by god its news! It would have been tolerable had she said it once, but no she repeats it again, and again, and again. Thanks a lot you washed up Ms. America weather girl has been. You have yourself a nice day.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

For Terry's amusement

www.ebaumsworld.com

I am sure you will like all the videos where a guy gets hit in the nuts.

What if Jesus Came back? Post your comments

If Jesus Came Back


Setting:
Modern day United States, Bible belt.

“Son” The Preacher said, “we can help you release those demons in your head!”
“Demons, what demons? I am Jesus Christ the only son of God,” said Jesus the Son of God.
“Blasphemer! How dare you say that about our sacred Lord God! Jesus Christ himself will strike you down and you will be lost to hell if you don’t recant!”
“ Sweet, misguided sir, you don’t seem to understand, I am the son of God, returned to earth to bring peace and good will to all mankind. You have been killing, and hating one another for far too long and it is time for reckoning.”
“Okay ‘Heysoos’, you Mexicans think you can come to our country and take our jobs and our God? You are sorely mistaken. The one thing that is giving you away ‘Heysoos’ is not your words of love and peace but its that dark oily skin and black hair. Come on it is well known that our Lord Jesus was fair skinned”
“Brother,” said Jesus “ I was born in what you now call the Middle East, my appearance is what it should be, for one of such a land.”

At this point The Preacher’s bloated face, turned crimson with anger. He grabbed his perfectly quaffed hair and began to shake violently. “I feel the power of the Lord coming into me!” he spat. Flecks of spittle flew through the air and landed all over Jesus’ face. Jesus sat calmly while the portly preacher, contorted and twisted his features into a mask of contempt.
“So that’s it!” He screamed full into the face of the man before him, “You, you heathen, you ungodly dirty Arab! How dare you posture yourself as the champion and founder of Christianity! I have preached against the likes of you for years! You people are doing Satan’s bidding, killing peaceful women and children with your suicide bombs, and insurgent attacks, all the while praying to the false God, Allah. I know your tricks Satan, I have been tempted one too many times!”
“Sir’, said Jesus in a calm peaceful tone of voice cutting off The Preacher’s tirade, “I know of all the times you have been tempted. I was there when you took the money and spent it on that fancy car, saying that you needed it to do the Lords work. I was there when you took that young girl into the storeroom and said that Jesus would be proud, and that you were doing the Lords work, all the while she cried. She has spoken to me and told me of her feelings of shame and regret. I have also heard you speak out against Jews, and Buddhists, Hindus, and Muslims, and many other religions. I have come today to set the record straight. It is not I you should be worshipping, it is the way I lived my life. It is how I spoke to people, not what I said that matters. It is the deeds I performed for others, not for myself. That is what you missed. In all your years of preaching and spreading the “Word” you refused to follow in my footsteps. In your blindness, your one-sidedness, your contempt and hatred for the beliefs of others, you missed the common thread, which could have solved the world’s problems. Ponder it for a while and see if you can tell me what it is.


Can you?

Friday, January 13, 2006

F You Terry

So now that I am all relaxed it's time to say a hearty Fuck you Terry.
I am lambasted constantly by your inane comments. Yes sometimes it takes me a long time to post an update, but some things are better left unsaid. I am attempting to be a little sesquipedalian, but it is not working out like I would like.
So NO POST FOR YOU!

You said it man, nobody fucks with the Grantis.

Relaxation Therapy

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(BREATH)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(BREATH)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(BREATH)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(BREATH)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(BREATH)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(BREATH)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(BREATH)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(BREATH)

I feel better now.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Surprise Surprise

You scored as Biology. You should be a Biology major! You are passionate about the sciences, and you enjoy studying cell growth and evolutionary concepts which enable living organisms to survive. Pursue that!

Biology

100%

Theater

83%

Sociology

83%

Chemistry

83%

English

75%

Journalism

75%

Engineering

75%

Philosophy

67%

Psychology

67%

Mathematics

50%

Linguistics

50%

Anthropology

42%

Dance

42%

Art

8%

What is your Perfect Major?
created with QuizFarm.com

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Picto-Personality Test




You are a person who is very ambitious, and constantly thinking of ways to further your own goals.

When alone, you like to spend your time doing something that will better yourself.

You are romantic, and when you are with your partner you like to woo them with your imagination.

In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com