Bah Humbug

So I was at the grocery store the other night and there was a lady from the Salvation Army ringing her bell. I have given money to the SA a few times this year, but I always feel guilty when walking past and not donating any money. I'm tired of this. Shaming people into giving money is just wrong. What made matters worse is that she kept singing "Jingle Bells", but not the whole song, just "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way." Then she'd stop and start all over again. She was also walking all over the parking lot collecting stray grocery carts, how about you man your collection pot you crazy old bag!

Here is something else that bugs me...Our local weather man runs a Santa's Helpers program, where he collects toys for the needy. I beleive in giving to your fellow man, just don't bitch about the fact that your not getting enough toys for all the kids. There are a bunch of different groups that collect toys for kids, why? Why not have one big drive to collect toys from just one group? Is that too much to ask for?

And while we are on the subject...I heard this lady bragging to another lady, that she gave her kids $100.00 each to buy toys for the needy. Meanwhile she was still going to by hundreds of dollars worth of toys for her kids. Does that teach them the meaning of giving? Does that teach them compassion? I am not sure it does? Wouldn't a better lesson be to spend hundreds of dollars on other kids and only allow her kids a a few toys, or no toys at all.

Big Al In Cow Town

So my buddy Big Al was in town over the weekend and I am always amazed (I don't know why) that everywhere he goes he stands out. We went to breakfast and he was wearing this crazy Fargo/Seasons Greetings/Christmas hat, and everyone in the place wants to know where he got it. I am assuming that he will say some cool thrift store in Houston or some small town clothing center, but no. He got it at Wallgreens! That consumer bastard! And after he says where he purchased the hat he spouts proudly that it was only $4.99 (4.98 at wal mart). I was saddend to say the least. I expected some remarkable story of how the hat came to be in his posession. Something involving children or drunken behavior, but no he got it at Wallgreens! Why don't you tell all the nice people where you got that leopard print belt Big Al?

I'll admit it I'm lazy sometimes

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Low

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

The Boy Who's Skin Fell Off

So I watched this show last night on TLC. What a terrible story for this poor guy. He lived for 36 years with this horrible disease where his skin would bruise and fall off if he bumped it or scratched it. He had lost the use of his hands and feet because of the scarring, he had to be swathed in bandages to help protect his fragile skin. The amazing thing about this show was his outlook on life. He always had a joke at the ready, knew he was going to die and accepted it with grace and humility. Jonny Kennedy was a quality person.

'Death is freedom, life is a lesson'
Jonny Kennedy

The French

I wrote this a long time ago. I still think its funny and relevant

To all patriotic Americans:

With the recent anti-French sentiment in the US, I have come up with an anti-French plan to rival those already in place. In case you haven't heard of those plans, some of them include boycotting French restaurants, re-naming "French Fries" to "Freedom Fries", and "French Toast" to "Freedom Toast", both of which are in place in our nations capital. My plan involves a great icon of the United States that was a gift from the French. Thats right, the Statue of Liberty. What better way to show those frogs we really hate them than to GIVE them back a gift they gave to us. We should re-gift the Statue of Liberty. Or better yet Lady Liberty is made of copper right? We should melt her down and use the copper to make full metal jackets for our bullets, and then use them to shoot the French when we invade their country.
Justification? You say you want justification for the invasion of France? Ok. They sold or were complicit in selling material that could be used for biological and chemical weapons to Iraq in the early 80's, wait a second... so was the United States. Scratch that. How about the fact that they refuse to help us in Iraq? Yes thats more like it. Because France has decided not to support the United States in the "Campaign to disarm the Iraqi regime, and free the Iraqi people" They are guilty of harboring and aiding terrorists. Sons of bitches! We can't let those frogs, or any one else for that matter, have a free thought or action. If they aren't going to tow the line them lets take them out. American citizens included!

Désirent ardemment de phase les Etats-Unis et la mort à d'autres!
Long live the United states and death to others!

What have you done today?

So here is the list of things I have done today at work.

9 am Checked my e-mail
9:30 Started some VHS-C to DVD copies
9:45 Checked my e-mail and read the Drudge Report
10 Gazed out the window
10:30 continued to gaze out the window
10:45 Drove to Grand Prairie

12:45 pm Sat in my truck in the parking lot gazing out the window
1:15 posted to my blog and checked my e-mail
1:45 refilled the paperclip dispenser
2-5pm Looking as busy as I can while gazing out the window

Sometimes hurting people is funny.

I remeber in the not too distant past...Me and some friends of mine played a joke on a group of people that we worked with. I made out to be a shy and soft spoken person, who was then bullied by another person (my friend), while trying to tell the work group how I felt. My friends and I were the only ones who found the joke funny and it hurt a lot of peoples feelings. Well you know what? It was still really funny! I laugh my ass off every time I think about it. Fuck them if they can't take a joke. We were hated for some time after that. I love the kind of humor that maybe one or two people find funny.


"I never told a joke in my life."
Andy Kaufman

Quote of the day

"I wish that you would see fit to stop the practicing of these religous ceremonies."

Jeremiah Johnson

Freezing Cold

I have become what I always despised. I am now one of those tools that runs off to the local mega-lo-mart and stocks up on items that will be readily available in 2 days. This is Texas for fucks sake. Since I have been a wee little child the motto has always been if you don't like the weather in Texas wait five minutes and it will change - I ran off to the grocery store last night with the spousal unit and we purchased large amounts of food that barely fit in our Maytag. I have also recently purchased a 7 gallon water container that I refill on a regular basis. Today I went and hastily purchased new wind shield wipers because I was not satisfied with the performance of the current ones. "Sorry fellas I like you and all but your just not doing it for me, so adios" Also purchased black plastic and acrylic Ice scraper, because I don't have one and you know some day I might need it

Here it is

I am Grant's bloated sense of creativity. Here for your amusement.